The Story With No Title
by Reborn from the Ashes
Summary: Have you ever wanted to go to Rivendell? As a male? This girl didn’t.
1. Disclaimer

Disclaimer: Considering this is in the Lord of the Rings section of ff.net no one here owns much of anything. I do not own that which belongs to Tolkien. I will not repeat this every chapter.  
  
Thoughts appear in between ' '  
  
Speech in between " "  
  
PG-13 rating for swearing  
  
Enjoy! 


	2. Late Night Vigils

The Story With No Title  
  
Late Night Vigils  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina was slumped in her chair trying to focus her eyes on the computer screen in front of her. "Stupid fan fiction keeping me up all night" she mumbled. After staring dazed at the screen a few minutes she fell sleep. Her head fell down onto the keyboard knocking over her glass of water. The water flowed out into the keyboard and onto the CPU conveniently stored under the desk. It soon short-circuited sending sparks and fingers of electricity all through the area around the desk.  
  
You would have thought this would have woken Paullina but she wasn't there.  
  
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"Uhg, I feel awful. I feel like I slept on a rock." Paullina opened her eyes and pushed herself up with her hands. Her eyes were bleary from sleep and she rubbed them as she sat up.  
  
Her vision clearing she looked around. "Fuuuuck…." She had indeed slept on a rock. She was in a small clearing surrounded by dense forest. From the angle of the light it appeared to be early morning wherever she was.  
  
Scrambling to her feet on unsteady legs she looked around. "Yup, you're in a fucking forest." She wobbled and her head felt light. "What the hell…" She put her hand to her head, but pulled it back and looked at it. "Oh dear god what is going on?" Her hand was large, very male, tanned and calloused. "What the fu…my voice!" She put her hands to her throat then stretched out her arms. They were large, long and clad in soft brown leather. She glanced down her body.  
  
Her head got dizzy seeing her feet so far away. "I wanted to be taller, but come on!" Feeling an even stronger wave of dizziness she fainted. She wouldn't know until she woke again that she had hit her head on the very rock she had slept on. 


	3. The Awakening

The Story With No Title  
  
The Awakening  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina's head felt clear as she awoke again. She wondered about the bizarre dream she had. Reassuring it was just a dream she reached out touching the soft covers and the pillow of her bed. Rolling over and sitting up she rubbed her eyes and ran her hands down her face. Her eyes jumped open on feeling rough stubble where it should have been smooth skin.  
  
"Not again…" she breathed out as she closed her eyes and threw her head back. Opening her eyes again she looked around and saw that she was in a large bed in a beautiful room with a high ceiling and finely carved beams. To the one side was a high wall with large windows.  
  
"Perfect!" Flipping the covers off she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stared at her feet. She was wearing white sleeping pants made of some soft material. Her chest was bare and much to her chagrin it was rather hairy. Getting up she walked towards the windows but stopped short when she saw her reflection in a tall mirror.  
  
"Hot damn!"  
  
She stood and stared at herself, quietly admiring her reflection. She had a hard time believing she was contained within the image the mirror was reflecting back at her. 'I must be 6 foot 3 at least.' Her eyes wandered up and down. She now had straight narrow hips and waist, a muscled stomach and chest. She saw long muscled arms and very broad shoulders. Her hair was a very dark brown and hung in loose curls a few inches above her shoulders.  
  
She focused on her face and tried to find some resemblance to her former self or any male relatives. The only thing she could find the same were her eyes, they were the same shade of green. After a time of standing and thinking, unfortunately, she was reminded of a particularly drastic change in her anatomy and she longed to be female again. Just thinking of it made her shudder.  
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
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More chapters coming soon ^_^ 


	4. To the Bath

The Story With No Title  
  
To the Bath  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina whipped around to find a tall unusually beautiful woman in a long dress standing in the doorway. She stared intently at her thinking there was something odd about her, but stopped when the woman blushed.  
  
"Sorry, no I am not cold." She still couldn't get over her new voice.  
  
"I'm here to escort you to your bath. There is a robe and slippers for you there." She pointed to a chair by the bed and quickly slipped out of the room.  
  
'Shit! I should have asked her were the hell I am.' Having nothing else to do and noticing she did not smell too good she put on the slippers. They seemed huge, but fit to her amazement, she was still not used to her new body. Putting on the robe and tying the belt she walked to the door and pulled it open and stepped out into the hall.  
  
The woman was waiting for her and led her through many winding halls. They eventually walked out of the building. She almost gasped at the beauty of the place. She had been gawking at the architecture as they traversed the halls, but the gardens and terraces outside were breath taking.  
  
"Come, you will be able to wander at your leisure after you have bathed and eaten."  
  
She turned her head to see the woman smiling at her. Then from around a corner came a small group of men and she couldn't help but gawk, they were beautiful.  
  
"You act as though you have never seen an elf before."  
  
She snapped her mouth shut. "I haven't"  
  
"Never?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Strange, but come." The woman led her through the gardens and up a path to a secluded stone building. She opened a large door and led her in. There was a very large stone pool filled with steaming water. "There are towels and soap for you and what you need to shave. Your clothes are not quite ready, but should be done once you've finished. I will come with them later." The woman bowed and left closing the door behind her.  
  
Paullina stared down at the pool, "Now or never."  
  
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^_^ 


	5. In the Bath

The Story With No Title  
  
In the Bath  
  
  
  
  
  
Bathing a 6' 3" tall male heavily muscled frame when one is used to a petite 5' 2" female one is not as hard as one would think, but it was still far from easy. To make it even harder Paullina was continually working blind to avoid looking at something she would rather not. Once she was finished she settled down on a submerged stone bench to soak not wanting to have to get out and face reality.  
  
'Oh get up you lazy bum.' She sighed and got out of the pool and dried off. She was about to put her robe on when she remembered the woman said something about shaving. Taking a dry towel she wrapped it around her waist and approached a stone table. Laid out on it was a pitcher of water, a bowl and various toiletries. There was also a small mirror mounted on the wall.  
  
"You're probably going to cut your throat." She desperately tried to recall all the things she could remember of seeing her father shave. Picking up the thin blade she grimaced and set it back down. She poured water into the bowl and searched for soap, on finding it she got it wet and worked up a lather and spread it on her face. Thinking of the absurdity of it all she began to giggle, which was a strange sound coming from what appeared to be a normal, very large man.  
  
10 minutes later and amazingly free of wounds Paullina rinsed and dried a now clean-shaven face. She looked at her reflection 'I'm a handsome bloke, aren't I?' She then heard a knock on the door.  
  
"I have your clothes sir. May I come in?"  
  
"Yes." The door opened and the woman stood and stopped, staring at her wide eyed. Paullina rolled her eyes remembering she was only wearing a towel and that she was male, though only in the barest technical sense. Striding forward she relieved the woman of the bundle of cloth she was holding and closed the door. "I thought I was bad. That woman…" Her voice trailed off when she remembered what the woman had called those men. 'Elves…shiiiiiiiit…where the hell am I? Oh my God what an unobservant airhead I've been!'  
  
She continued to silently berate herself for not noting the many, many things that would have indicated that things were not all they should be. Besides the fact that she was in a male body and she had no clue where she was, there was the beautiful architecture, the beautiful people, the clothes, the lack of any sign of advanced technology, most notably the bathing house, and basically every thing she had seen since she woke up.  
  
'And I thought I was observant.' She shook her head in disgust and examined the clothes. In a few minutes she was dressed in a pair of green leggings, shirt and tunic. There was also a tall pair of leather boots. Now dressed, but still pissed she jerked open the door and stepped out.  
  
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Thank you for the reviews ^_^ 


	6. Out of the Bath and into the Garden

The Story With No Title  
  
Out of the Bath and into the Garden  
  
  
  
  
  
Stepping out into the noonday sun (she had slept late) she couldn't help but admire the view and it soothed the edge off her anger. She saw the woman standing nearby still looking a bit ruffled.  
  
"I'm sorry about that."  
  
She looked a little confused for a second. "No sir, I am at fault."  
  
"No, it was my fault. Don't think about."  
  
"If that is what you wish sir." Paullina turned her head to the side and rolled her eyes. With a determined countenance she walked forward down the path ignoring the elf following behind her. Finding a small deserted garden she turned off the path and sat on a bench and crossed her arms. "Sir you should eat then you need to see my Lord."  
  
"I would liked to be alone for a while."  
  
The elf bit her lip for moment then her face brightened. "Would you like to dine here?"  
  
"Yes, that will be fine, thank you." Paullina turned her head away as the elf disappeared down the path.  
  
'I forgot to ask where I was, again. I'm beginning to doubt my sanity. I fainted; I must have hit my head. Yeah, that's why I'm acting like a dope.' Having settled for that explanation of her stupidity she settled down on the bench and looked around. After only a minute two persons walked into the garden. 'Damn quiet aren't they?'  
  
Looking up she saw two male elves. Twins to be exact. They nodded their heads to her and continued on. 'Twins, elves, a valley, beautiful buildings and gardens? Damn I must be in Rivendell. This is what I get for reading LOTR fanfic late at night. I'm dreaming.' Using the age-old test she pinched her arm. 'Damn that hurts. How the heck did I get here?' Her mind wandered back to when she was last home and tried to come up with an explanation. Her thoughts were interrupted when the elf woman walked up with a tray of food.  
  
She set the tray down and Paullina realized she was very hungry and began to eat. The food was unbelievable delicious, bread and butter, honey, apples and cheese. It was an unusual breakfast for her, but very satisfying. She ignored the elf as she ate and began to think again about how she got there. After some time she slammed her fist down on her palm when the answer came to her.  
  
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It does get better soon ^_^ 


	7. Revelations

The Story With No Title  
  
Revelations  
  
  
  
  
  
The elf jumped slightly at the motion, but Paullina didn't notice. Her mind was racing with the thought that had come to her. 'I fell asleep and I knocked over the glass of water and I fried the computer. That's it, I got electrocuted and I'm in a coma in some hospital somewhere.' Satisfied with this she smiled and ate the last bit of cheese. She didn't care to think why the pinch still hurt or that you don't dream when in a coma or the money she would have to spend on hospital bills and replacing her computer when she woke up, so she ignored those little nagging details.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
Coming out of her reverie she glanced up at a confused, concerned elf. "Yes?"  
  
"If you are done I need to take you to the Lord Elrond now."  
  
She smiled inwardly on hearing Elrond's name; she was right about where she was. "Certainly, show the way." She got to her feet and followed the elf out of the garden and back to the house. She then noticed for the first time how different it was to walk with such a huge stride; she was surprised she hadn't tripped over herself. 'I'm lucky I've been unobservant. Otherwise I would have been tripping over my feet long ago.'  
  
Navigating through many passageways and rooms they passed many elves who smiled and nodded to her. They finally arrived at their destination and the woman opened a door and motioned for her to go in. Hesitating slightly, she walked in. The door was closed behind her; the elf did not follow her.  
  
She walked several paces into the room and she glanced about. The room was quite large and beautifully furnished. There were tall windows on two walls with an exquisite view of the valley. The other two were covered with bookshelves. Someone was sitting in a large chair near a fireplace. It could be no one but Elrond. He was tall even sitting, with broad shoulders, black hair and gray eyes. His face was handsome and ageless. She silently thanked god that he didn't resemble Hugo Weaving in any way.  
  
The elf motioned for her to sit. She walked over to the chair and sat. She could hear the chair quietly protest her great weight. 'Eek, how much do I weigh?' Seated across from him she met his gaze. Whether is was from knowing she was in a big brawny body or whether she was just weird (as in stupid) she met and held his gaze not the least bit intimidated, though she knew she probably should be.  
  
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^_^ 


	8. How to Curb the Truth

(A/N Since no one is reviewing *sniff* I'll have to start posting so we can get to the chapters that are actually funny.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
How to Curb the Truth  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina realized she was being rather rude and looked out the window. She stared, not really noticing what she was looking at. She started drumming her fingers on her knee waiting for him to speak. 'Fuck this.' She turned back to Elrond, "Hello".  
  
"Good afternoon. Welcome to Rivendell. I am Elrond, Lord of this refuge. And you are?"  
  
"P…Paul." 'Paullina is a bit too feminine'  
  
"Paul, where do you hail from and how is it you were found unconscious in a glade in this valley?"  
  
Paullina cocked her head to the side trying to arrange the wording before she spoke. "Well, as for where I'm from, I'm from Vermont. How I got here? I have no idea, well none that make sense."  
  
Elrond raised an eyebrow. "Curious, I have never heard of this Vermont. If it were not for your lack of gear, weapons and your…extreme stature I would have said you were clothed and had the appearance of one of the Dunedain." He took a dramatic paused. "And as to how you got here, I would like to hear your ideas, however improbably they may seem to you."  
  
"Well…I think I was struck by lightening." 'Close enough right? If I'm right about the computer and the water'  
  
"Lightening?" Both of Elrond's eyebrows shot up his forehead.  
  
"Yes, I was caught outside in a bad storm." Paullina winced inwardly; she didn't like lying. "I woke up in that glade. I became dizzy a short time afterward and fainted."  
  
"That must be when you hit your head. Does it pain you?"  
  
"No, I didn't even know I was hurt. Must have been that damn rock I slept on."  
  
"Yes…there was a rock near your head where you were found. I am pleased that you are suffering no pain from the blow. Back to the matter at hand what is this Vermont? It must quite a kingdom to have warriors such as yourself."  
  
Paullina shifted uneasily in her chair. 'I'm not a warrior. Ack, what am I going to do? They'll think I'm nuts if I tell them I'm actually a girl.' Surprising herself with a perfect deadpan face and even voice she spoke. "Yeah, Vermont is nice, though it's not a kingdom, just part of a very large one. It's very far from here." 'Hope he forgets about that warrior crap'  
  
"How far?"  
  
'Quit asking questions!' "I don't know where I am in relation to where I was, so I can't tell you. All I know is it must be far away, and I rightfully don't know how I will get back."  
  
"That is unfortunate, but meanwhile you will be my guest. I still do not understand how you arrived here, but there will be time to discus that later." Elrond rose to his feet and so did Paullina. The door opened and the elf woman who had showed her there stood in the doorway. "Liriel [1] will show you back to your quarters. More clothes will be made for you. Feel free to wander about."  
  
Paullina tried her best to bow to and thank Elrond. She reckoned she was close to failing miserably, but she was too glad that that whole conversation was over with for it to bother her.  
  
She silently walked behind Liriel as she was guided back to her room. As they stopped outside her door a thought struck Paullina.  
  
"Uh, Liriel?"  
  
"Yes? Oh, I do not yet know your name."  
  
"Paul…I need to go…where is the outhouse?"  
  
Liriel seemed to be holding back a giggle as she gave Paullina the directions. Paullina tromped off slightly pissed that Liriel was laughing at her. She soon found herself standing outside the outhouse conflicted with two strong needs. The one was to urinate; the other was to fall over dead to save herself the trouble.  
  
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^_^  
  
A/N Hope Elrond wasn't too far out of character, but it's so hard to write dialogue for him.  
  
[1] Ah the name Liriel, where did it come from? Well if you go to the Barrow-Downs site and you get a ridiculously long ugly name start taking out letters and whole syllables and you'll get a nice sounding name. 


	9. That Week

The Story With No Title  
  
That Week  
  
  
  
  
  
We will forgo any detailed account of Paullina's many unpleasant adventures in the outhouse during the ensuing week.  
  
The week crawled by with the speed of a glacier (well maybe not that slow) the place was beautiful. She wandered about most of the time finding different nooks and crannies each day, but she was growing increasingly restless. At first it had been easy adjusting to her new body, but the more she thought about it the harder it was to do simple things. She now had to be very careful when she walked and her shoulders and arms were bruised from cutting corners too sharply. She began to long to be nice and petite again and most importantly, female.  
  
And to pile on more problems she was getting frustrated to the point of frenzy. All those thousands of fan girls out there would have loved to be there and here she was with a very large population of male elves walking about in all their glory and she was stuck in the body of a man. Thankfully she was entirely oblivious to the many glances she received from the female elves, the most frequent being from Liriel. If Paullina had known this she probably would have crawled into a hole and died. (Or run away screaming never to be seen again) [1]  
  
The scenery beautiful, the food delicious, and eye candy a plenty, music to die for and the softest bed she had ever slept on, but her happiness and sanity were rapidly sliding away.  
  
The day she had been there a full week her mood was at an all time low, the novelty of being male had long since worn off and she began to get horribly homesick. Walking away from the gardens and into the woods Paullina broke down. Finding a convenient tree (the nearest one) she grasped it firmly and began to pound her head into it muttering oaths that would be improper to repeat here.  
  
Realizing she now had a headache and possibly brain damage she turned and sat down at the base of the tree and began to cry. After a few minutes she wrapped her arms around her knees, set her head down on them and began to cry in earnest. Not having the capacity for coherent thought at this time she kept on crying headless of dehydration or that fact that she was being quite loud.  
  
She didn't know how long she sat there and cried, but after some time she heard a voice.  
  
"Paul, what is it that causes you grief?"  
  
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^_^  
  
[1] Neither the author nor the character is homophobic. Considering the character Paullina's state of mind at the time she wouldn't be able to deal with something like that rationally. 


	10. A Shoulder To Cry On

The Story With No Title  
  
A Shoulder to Cry On  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina stopped sobbing and looked up. There stood an elf, he was tall and rather slim, like most of the elves she'd seen. He was dark haired and handsome. 'Is there such a thing as an unhandsome elf?'  
  
"And you are?" Her voice was cracked from crying and her headache caused her to grimace.  
  
"I am Beleg [1]. I heard you from some distance away. What could cause a grown man to weep so?" He looked concerned and eager to help, but upon hearing the word "man" Paullina broke down and sobbed again even more intensely than before. After a moment she felt the elf sit down beside her. She turned and laid her forearm and head on his shoulder and continued crying. If she had not been too busy crying she would have laughed at the multitude of expressions that washed over the elf's face; bewilderment, anxiety, fear, concern, etc. She might have laughed even harder if she had been passing by and saw the scene of a 6 foot 3, roughly 260-pound man weeping on the elf's shoulder.  
  
After a time she stopped sobbing and her tears stopped altogether. She then became intensely aware of how close she was to the elf. 'He smells…good.' Realizing it wasn't quite the right time to for smelling elves she quickly got to her feet.  
  
"Thank you Beleg, I guess I needed a shoulder to cry on."  
  
Beleg was already on his feet. "You are most welcome Paul, but why is it you were crying?"  
  
"I…I'm frustrated. I wish to return home."  
  
"Your home must be quite a place. Do your wife and children await your return?"  
  
Paullina knew this was a perfectly sensible question, but she wasn't prepared for it. It started out as a smile and turned to giggles then outright laughter. She continued laughing and when she caught site of Beleg's face she laughed even harder. "I…sorry, but…" She bent over laughing and waved a hand at Beleg and stumbled away leaving the elf stunned and more confused than he had even been in his long life and slightly insulted.  
  
As Paullina stumbled back towards the house her laughter died down to chuckles as she entered the more highly trafficked gardens and paths. Her mood was much improved and she decided never to get that homesick again, if she could help it.  
  
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^_^  
  
[1] Ah where did the name Beleg come from? Beleg means "mighty" is Sindarin. And was the name of Beleg Strongbow, a great archer and chief of the marchwardens of Doriath, who was so rudely slain by his friend Turin. It was also the name of Aragorn's 27th great grandfather, Beleg the 2nd King of Arthedain. And well I just like the name and if there can be two Glorfindel's then I don't see why some elven couple couldn't name their son after the great Beleg. 


	11. Headaches

The Story With No Title  
  
Headaches  
  
  
  
  
  
Walking quickly towards the house Paullina choked off the last chuckles of her mirth and made her way to her room for some privacy. She made up her mind to find Beleg the next day and apologize somehow without actually telling him why she had acted the way she had. Finally reaching her own corridor she spotted the door to her room.  
  
Just as she was reaching for the handle her headache came roaring back to life. She placed a hand on the wall and leaned heavily onto it, her head sagging. 'Bad idea, don't laugh so hard when you just got over a headache.' She sighed heavily and tried not to throw up. She then felt a hand gently touch her shoulder.  
  
She looked to the side and saw Liriel standing close with a worried look on her face. "Are you unwell Paul? You look as though you have hit your head."  
  
"I did." She closed her eyes and turned away leaning her head onto the wall, but she winced from the pain and pulled it back.  
  
"How did you get hurt? How often where you hit?"  
  
"It was a tree and I stopped counting. Please, I need to lay down." Paullina reached out blindly and caught hold of the handle and stumbled into her room. Walking forward she fell onto her bed. The headache was fading slightly as the minutes passed by the lack of noise or movement.  
  
After a short time someone tapped her shoulder. "What?"  
  
"Please Paul, turn over so I can tend to you."  
  
Grumbling Paullina turned over onto her back causing new bursts of pain to rip through her head. Not bothering to open her eyes she laid there as Liriel examined her head and pressed a cold wet cloth to her forehead. The cloth was soon removed and replaced by a poultice. After a few minutes Liriel spoke.  
  
"Paul, drink this."  
  
Paullina cracked an eye open and saw Liriel's slender hand holding a small glass filled with a dark liquid that smelled strongly of mint. Not wanting to argue Paullina took the glass and downed the contents. Closing her eyes she settled down comfortably. Liriel was silent and soon Paullina drifted into a pleasant dreamless sleep.  
  
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^_^ 


	12. A Good Beginning

(A/N this chap is not too great, actually it's pretty bad, more of a transition thing…read on away please.)  
  
On to the story…  
  
  
  
The Story With No Title  
  
A Good Beginning  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina woke the next morning free of any pain. She slowly got to her feet testing her head. Seeing that her headache was completely eradicated she quickly changed clothes and sought out breakfast. After eating she felt quite jolly for the first time in days and went out into the gardens. She wandered about in the hope of finding Beleg without having to ask someone where he was.  
  
Her labors were soon rewarded when she spotted Beleg walking alone on a path.  
  
"Beleg!"  
  
The elf stopped and turned. She couldn't quite tell what the elf was thinking, but she hoped it wasn't too unpleasant. "Yes Paul?"  
  
"I would like to apologize for yesterday. I can't tell you exactly why I laughed like that, but I want to assure you I was not laughing at you and that I'm feeling much better."  
  
Beleg smiled. "You are quite strange Paul, but I gladly accept your apology. Are you sure you wouldn't care to tell me what was so funny?"  
  
"Very sure, I'm sorry. Thank you for not being too upset about it."  
  
"You are most welcome."  
  
"I'll see you around then." Quickly turning, Paullina walked back to the house content and happy. Walking back through the corridors on her way to her room she spotted Liriel turning down another corridor far down the hall.  
  
"Liriel!"  
  
She stopped and turned towards Paullina. "Yes Paul?"  
  
Closing the gap Paullina walked up to her. "Thank you for tending to my head. I feel much better today." Paullina was grinning like a fool she was so happy how the day was turning out.  
  
"Oh, your welcome." Liriel dipped in a half bow, but Paullina was already striding down the hall towards her room. She was in her room with the door closed before she realized there was nothing waiting for her there. She stood thinking a moment.  
  
"A bath!"  
  
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^_^  
  
(A/N And since this chapter was so retched I'm posting the next one immediately after this one.) 


	13. In the Bath, again?

The Story With No Title  
  
In the Bath, again?  
  
  
  
  
  
Quickly exiting the house Paullina made her way to the bathhouse. Finding it empty she quickly stripped and covered herself with a towel. Walking up to the stone table she looked herself in the mirror. She was shocked to find that she had already become used to it. She sighed and ran a hand over her face. She had decided she would not grow a beard so she picked up the soap and proceeded to shave.  
  
As she was quick to learn things involving her hands she had become quite good at shaving and was soon done. Dropping the towel on the floor she got into the pool, bathed and sat down to soak. Feeling content and pleased with herself she closed her eyes and leaned her head back. The minutes passed and the hot water soothed and relaxed her tense muscles.  
  
She almost thought she was dreaming when she felt soft fingers brush against the skin on the side of her temple. When she felt it again she knew it was not a dream and snapped her eyes open. She was greeted with an upside down view of Liriel's face. Jumping up she turned and looked hard at Liriel. "Liriel, what are you doing here?"  
  
Liriel reached out a hand and tried to caress her face, but Paullina darted to the side and dodged the touch. Liriel's face saddened slightly, "Paul?"  
  
"Liriel get out, now!" She emphasized this by pointing to the doorway.  
  
"But Paul, please?" Liriel sounded desperate, not to mention confused.  
  
"Fine then I'll leave." Paullina turned and treaded water and dashed up the stone steps and out of the pool, heedless of her nudity. Grabbing a towel she wrapped it around her waist and gathered her clothes in her arms, getting them wet. She turned and looked at Liriel, still kneeling at the far end of the pool, as she reached for the door. Liriel was in shock with her mouth gaping open. Paullina snorted and flung the door open and walked out and promptly smacked right into someone.  
  
This someone was knocked to the ground. Paullina looked down at her feet to find Beleg. Quickly bending over Paullina offered her hand and pulled Beleg to his feet.  
  
"Paul, why are you not dressed?" Beleg looked around wide-eyed.  
  
Still quite angry with Liriel, Paullina was unable to speak without gritting her teeth. "I was rudely interrupted by a particular individual." She turned to leave, but stopped. "Oh and sorry for knocking you over." That said she stomped away rather loudly, if one can in bare feet, down the path and back to the house.  
  
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^_^  
  
(A/N Eek, *sigh*…happy this chap was better than the last *shudder*.) 


	14. An Excess of Expletives

(Esgalinzil and Angel-chan ^_^ repeat reviewers woo hoo!)  
  
  
  
The Story With No Title  
  
An Excess of Expletives  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina hurried back to the house uttering oaths under her breath. She made it all the way to her room completely oblivious to the disturbance she caused the elves with her dripping wet, half nude figure rushing through their midst.  
  
Dropping her clothes on the floor she dried off as best she could with her already damp towel. Throwing on another set of clothes she sat down on her chair crossed her arms and tried not to scream.  
  
'Why couldn't Beleg have come to the bath just a few minutes earlier? Then I could have still been soaking comfortably with a potentially nude, very handsome elf to look at.' Her anger cooled a few degrees at this thought. 'Bad thoughts, naughty thoughts, quit it!' Her anger flamed again knowing that her chance of having a bath with Beleg was long gone, all because of a Liriel. 'Why me? Why do I have to have some hormonal she-elf after me?' She sighed and ran a hand through her hair.  
  
Paullina moped for several hours ignoring her hunger and thirst. She mumbled more curses in those hours than she ever had in her entire life. After a time her anger finally cooled down to manageable levels and she suddenly felt very weary. 'I want to go home. I want my old body back. Please?' The fates or gods or whoever had done this to her did not heed her wish and she was still there in her chair.  
  
Rising to her feet she walked to the window and looked out at the beautiful valley and the setting sun. The sky was awash with deep pinks and oranges and a few fluffy clouds drifted high overhead. She sighed and was now acutely aware of how she missed her home, the tree clad mountains and the lakes. She knew Middle-earth was much more unspoiled, but it was still different and not her home.  
  
After a few moments there was a tentative knock on the door.  
  
"Yes?" She didn't particularly care anymore who or why someone would be at her door. Keeping her back to the door she continued to look out the window. A figure stepped into the room and stood a few feet off. Paullina turned and saw Liriel standing quietly in the fading light. Liriel's presence, instead of inflaming her anger only deepened her melancholy.  
  
"Paul, please forgive me."  
  
Paullina sighed deeply, "I forgive you." Liriel let out a squeal of delight and flung herself forward wrapping her arms around Paullina. 'You always were too forgiving'  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	15. Our Relationship?

(A/N Okay…I must be really dense because I managed to skip an entire chapter, a funny one too. Go back and read chapter 10, now named "A Shoulder To Cry On". It is the intro for Beleg *mumbles incoherently*, I must have confused the hell out of everyone with than strange skip. "Headaches" is now chapter 11. Sorry about that.)  
  
  
  
The Story With No Title  
  
Our Relationship?  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina was neither prepared for nor in the mood for this. Holding her arms up as if she were at gun point Liriel clung to her like a leach. "Liriel?"  
  
Liriel looked up at her with a smile on her face, but it soon faded when she saw Paullina's expression. "What's wrong? Please don't be upset. Let us start over."  
  
"Start what over?"  
  
"Our relationship." Liriel smiled deeply.  
  
"Liriel I don't know what this relationship is that you're talking about, but whatever it is it's not going to be anything but a friendship." Liriel's face fell and she let go of Paullina and walked backward.  
  
Paullina said nothing as Liriel pouted for a moment before clenching her fists and rushing from the room closing the door rather loudly behind her. Paullina sighed and fell onto her bed. She laid there for several minutes trying in vain to figure Liriel out. 'Uh, I'm hungry. Maybe I can sneak to the kitchens without running into her.'  
  
She got to her feet and opened the door and stuck her head out looking down the corridor. Finding it empty she stepped out and walked as quietly as she could in the direction she thought would eventually take her to the kitchens. On her way she passed the occasional elf and was treated with odd looks. It took her a while to remember how she had walked back to the house in a huff, dripping wet wearing just a towel.  
  
She finally arrived at her destination and finding the kitchen empty she helped herself to fruit, bread and cheese, and a few tidbits she found in cupboards. There being no hot food lying around she had to satisfy herself with this. Once she had her fill she went back into the corridors and made her way back to her room.  
  
Halfway there an elf approached her and bade her to stop. "Paul, the lord Elrond wishes to see you. Follow me please." She nodded her consent and followed the elf. It seemed she was being brought to the same room she had been to a week earlier. 'If this is about Liriel I'm going to scream'  
  
Entering the study she found it to be more populated than she had anticipated. Elrond was there and so was the glorious Glorfindel, Beleg also and several male elves that she had no name for and to her chagrin, though not surprise, stood Liriel. Seeing as it would have been rude to do otherwise she went back on her word and did not scream.  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	16. No One Expects the Elvish Inquisition

(A/N Elves are going to be really OOC in this and upcoming chapters because it's easier to torture Paullina that way, mwahahahahahaha. Also, I was never really satisfied with this chapter, but I've tweaked and embellished it a few times. Hope it doesn't fall short of your expectations Angel- chan.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
No One Expects the Elvish Inquisition [1]  
  
  
  
  
  
"Good evening Paul." Elrond looked rather grim and Paullina felt a chill in the pit of her stomach.  
  
"Good evening." Paullina stood waiting.  
  
"Please sit." Elrond motioned to a chair. This chair was curiously placed in the middle of the room, a rather vulnerable position, but having no choice she sat down. 'This is not good' Elrond stood a pace or so in front of her, the other occupants of the room were spread out either sitting or standing. All eyes were on her.  
  
"Paul you've been summoned here to discus your behavior today, most notably at the bath."  
  
"And what of my behavior at the bath?"  
  
"It was most confusing and we would like to know why you acted in that way?"  
  
'Now I'm getting pissed' "What? Is it strange to be incensed by having my bath and privacy invaded?" She glared hard at Elrond then Liriel, who sat near the fireplace.  
  
Elrond looked at the other elves then turned back to Paullina. "And afterward?"  
  
"I know, I know. Running around less than half dressed was markedly…disruptive, but I was very angry and did not mean to disturb anyone…" Her voice trailed off because Elrond was shaking her head. "What?"  
  
"Paul I was not referring to that. I was speaking of a more recent incident. With the Lady Liriel…in your chamber."  
  
Paullina raised an eyebrow. 'Where is this heading?' "What of it?"  
  
Liriel finally stirred and got to her feet. "You refused me!"  
  
"And you're surprised because?"  
  
"Well, look at me." Liriel stood there looking quite confident in her looks and charms. Paullina had to admit that Liriel was quite beautiful, but what elf wasn't? To the average observer Paul was a regular male, but Paullina was still Paullina and she was most definitely female.  
  
'Why me?' "Liriel, wouldn't my behavior at the bath indicate to you that I was not pleased with nor receptive of your advances?"  
  
"But Paul, if you were upset that I invaded your privacy why did you bound naked out of the bath?"  
  
Paullina rolled her eyes back. "Because I did not care. I was having a good day and you disrupted my harmony. That is why I was angry."  
  
"But why?"  
  
Paullina was quite tired of this. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back.  
  
"You're hiding something." Paullina looked up at this accusation. 'DUH!' "Paul, if you have a wife back home please just tell me."  
  
"No, I have no wife." Paullina was having a hard time holding back her laughter. 'Poor Liriel'  
  
"What then? A betrothed, love, lover, tell me!"  
  
"No, none."  
  
Elrond finally intervened. "Paul, this refusal amazes me. You have nothing tying you to another yet you reject Liriel. She is a virtuous and beautiful maiden who is quite devoted to you. I think you should reconsider."  
  
After this many of the previously silent members of the inquisition voiced their agreement and for the next ten minutes she had to hear them banter back and forth why accepting Liriel was the best thing "he" could do and how rejecting her was cruel and quite stupid. Paullina stared at them dumbstruck slowly loosing her patience.  
  
"Stop it!" Paullina jumped to her feet and all conversation stopped. "What is with you people? As far as I know elves never force others to marry, whether against their will or heart. Talk about acting out of character. Why are you trying to force Liriel on me?" Paullina was gesticulating wildly throughout her little speech throwing all the elves for a loop.  
  
Coming out of his shock first Elrond spoke. "But Paul have you not heard us? It is a perfect match. If you would only agree I would bless the union and you could be wed."  
  
"Why are you rushing this?" She closed her eyes and tried to control her temper. 'Don't loose your temper, calm down. An Elrond with a broken nose would be a very pissed and dangerous Elrond'  
  
"You are a mortal and Liriel wishes to spend as much time she can with you."  
  
"Elrond, my being a mortal is the biggest reason why I'm refusing her." 'That and I'm a WOMAN! They're driving me nuts I can't take this much longer. Maybe I should tell them. No, they won't believe you and they'll lock you away and question you for hours. Just keep on refusing'  
  
"Paul, you have no feelings for me then?" Liriel walked forward looking rather forlorn.  
  
"No, other than what I'm feeling now and none of them are pleasant."  
  
This incited another barrage of arguments on Liriel's behalf. She wished she could spout her favorite South Park line, "Screw you guys, I'm going home", but she had no home to return to. She ended up throwing her hands up in disgust and stomping to the door and making a loud exit.  
  
The elves stopped talking and looked from one to another. One would think Liriel would break down and cry or at least mope or get angry, but she was remarkably resilient and determined and despite Paullina's never ending refusals Liriel had not given up all hope.  
  
----  
  
^_^  
  
[1] Kudos for Camilla Sandman for the inspiration behind the name of this chapter. At the time it was not apparent to me how I came up with the title, but it is obvious now that I did because of the Orkish Inquisition in Camilla's most glorious and far superior fanfiction, The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. If you have not read it I highly recommend it 


	17. An Answer

(A/N I got 20 reviews. People like my story ^_^ *happy dance*)

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The Story With No Title

An Answer

Considering how Paullina was blinded with rage and disgust it was a wonder she was able to find her way to her room. It was late, but she was wide-awake. She paced the floor for a time before breaking down to the inevitable fatigue of the long day she had had. Dressing and climbing into bed she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Another dawn rose over Rivendell and Paullina awoke to the same sight that she was greeted with every morning, her room. Though beautiful it was now loosing it's charm. She sighed and slowly got to her feet and dressed and wandered into the hall. Her anger having worn off from sleep was now replaced by an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. Dragging her feet and staring at the ground in front of her she made her way to the kitchen. Speaking as few words as possible she managed to procure some food for breakfast.

Ignoring all the greetings from the elves she passed she returned to her room and sat in her chair not unlike she had the day before. Her mind was blank as she watched the beam of sunlight slowly move across the floor. She was jerked out of her solitude by a loud rap on the door. She looked up at the closed door, but she did not speak.

The person didn't bother waiting for a reply and walked in closing the door behind him, it was Beleg. "What do you want Beleg?"

"Paul, I know you had an unpleasant experience last evening and I know that you don't want to hear any of that repeated, but…I want to know the _real_ reason you are refusing Liriel."

"What does it matter Beleg? No reason will be good enough to satisfy you people." Paullina, feeling her legs would start cramping up soon, stood and walked to the window.

"Paul, that is not true. For Liriel's sake please answer my question. You are breaking her heart." Beleg waited several moments staring at Paullina's back. "Damn it Paul, answer me. Liriel loves you." All he got in reply was a snort.

"Love? Ha! She's known me for a week." 'This is reminding me of Twelfth Night' [1]

"Time doesn't matter. Liriel is beautiful, virtuous and kind, most worthy of your love."

'I'm really tired of this.'  Paullina turned to face him. "Then why aren't you in love with her then?"

"I…I'm not that's all." Beleg looked a little disturbed.

"Ha! You see? You just knocked the support right out from under your argument." Paullina grinned and folded her arms across her chest.

"That is no matter. Your refusal still makes no sense."

"Do you really want to know why?"

"Why...yes."

Taking a step closer. "No, do you _really_ want to know?"

"Yes, I have already answered you." Beleg began to look impatient and frustrated.

Taking another step closer to Beleg. "You really, really want to know?"

"YES!"

Paullina leaned close to Beleg ear. "I'm a woman."

----

^_^

[1] Twelfth Night is a Shakespearean play where a woman dresses as up man and another woman falls in love with her. It's funny go read it or see it.


	18. An Undignified and Out of Breath Elf

(A/N Wow! I have 27 reviews now thanks to Brilaglar. Glad you like my story so much. Don't worry I just wrote chapter 24 the other day so you don't have to worry about new chapters.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
An Undignified and Out of Breath Elf  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina had anticipated several possible reactions and the one at the top of her list was shock followed by laughter and she hit the nail right on the head. After finally answering Beleg's question she stepped back to watch the elf's reaction.  
  
Beleg's face was frozen in shock, but after a moment he began to laugh. Not the clear pleasant laughter one normally would hear from an elf, but loud and long lasting. Waiting patiently, Paullina couldn't help but grin at her handy work. When Beleg finally stopped laughing he was wiping a tear from his eye and clutching his stomach. He looked at Paullina and straightened up suddenly.  
  
"You are not kidding?"  
  
Paullina slowly shook her head.  
  
"Paul…that was…very funny, but you cannot expect me to believe you? You are most definitely a man"  
  
"Yes…shall I explain?"  
  
"By all means."  
  
"You're right, this body is most definitely male, but I am not." Beleg raised a hand to halt Paullina's speech.  
  
"I am sorry, but that makes little sense."  
  
"Do you think it does to me?" Beleg shrugged his shoulders. "You see before I came here, when I lived in Vermont, I was about yea high." She motioned with her hand to show her former height of 5' 2". "I was also just seventeen years old and most importantly I was a girl." Paullina paused, but Beleg said nothing. "My name is actually Paullina. Now I'm not sure how, but I think I was…injured somehow and I woke up in that clearing where I was found and I was in this body. I fainted and didn't wake up until later right here in this room. Do you understand what I've said?"  
  
Beleg raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I understand."  
  
"Well, as you can see now any attention I got from Liriel was going to upset me."  
  
"Why did not you tell Elrond this when you were first questioned by him?"  
  
"Obviously I didn't want to him to think me insane. Like you, I doubt he would have believed me. I'm only telling you now under pressure." Paullina took a good long look at Beleg. "You still don't believe me do you?"  
  
"I am sorry my friend but I do not. And I doubt you can prove yourself to anyone's satisfaction."  
  
Paullina fell silent and thought it over. 'No one is ever going to believe me. I want to get out of this mess and go home damn it!' Suddenly a nasty little mischievous thought came to her. 'If this doesn't prove it nothing will.'  
  
Stepping forward suddenly Paullina grabbed hold of Beleg's faced and pulled him forward into a firm kiss. 'Hmmm, elf lips' Paullina was really enjoying this. Beleg was too shocked to do anything so Paullina was enjoying it to its fullest extent. The elf eventually came out of his shock and tried to break free of Paullina's intense lip lock. She released him and Beleg fell back gasping for air.  
  
"Paul, why did you do that?" Paullina and Beleg jerked their heads to the side to see Liriel standing in the doorway. Paullina didn't even try to suppress the grin spreading across her face.  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	19. Drunk?

(A/N Oh my, 36 reviews *happy dance*. Glad you like my story liselbean, Zurizip, Yuriko, Sick Little Friend and everyone else.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
Drunk?  
  
  
  
  
  
Beleg stood, still trying to catch his breath. His eyes darted from Liriel to Paullina.  
  
Paullina turned to him. "Now do you believe me?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
Liriel looked confused. "Believe what?  
  
Beleg finally got his breath back. "Liriel, Paul is a woman."  
  
"Beleg, I was one of those tending Paul when he was first brought in. He is most definitely male." She crossed her arms and stared at Beleg and then Paullina. "Both of you are drunk. I will talk to you later Paul, when you are sober." Turning abruptly, she left the room.  
  
Paullina growled deeply. 'That's it! I can't stand it anymore' She grabbed hold of Beleg's shoulders. "Beleg, what am I going to do? She's driving me insane. I want to go home! Do something!" She was roughly shaking Beleg to punctuate each sentence. The elf only stared back in shock and fear.  
  
"Paullina!" Hearing her real name ripped her out of her frenzied panic. She let go of Beleg and walked backward.  
  
"I'm sorry Beleg, but I can't take too much more of this." She slumped down, almost missing the chair. She leaned forward covering her face with her hands. After a moment she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up she and saw Beleg looking down at her, his face filled with compassion.  
  
"Would you like me to speak to Elrond for you?"  
  
"Would you?" Paullina's face brightened.  
  
"Yes, of course. It is easy to see that you are greatly pained by this situation with Liriel. Worry no more my friend."  
  
"Oh thank you Beleg." Paullina jumped to her feet and grasped Beleg around the waist and lifted him off his feet in a crushing hug.  
  
"You are…welcome…but I cannot talk to Elrond if I am dead."  
  
----  
  
^_^  
  
(A/N Sorry that was such a short chap. Maybe, just maybe, I'll post the next chap tonight.) 


	20. Not Again

(A/N AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brilager, YOU!!! You're the one who wrote "Phone Convos". I have been wanting more, write it NOW!!! Okay, I'm calm now. Thank you for all the reviews, and thank you for writing that very funny, but unfortunately short set of phone conversations. *happy sigh* I was laughing my head off when I read all your reviews ^___^ Mwahahahahaha I have a fanatic.)  
  
(A/N I'm not as insane as that ^ would make me appear)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
Not Again  
  
  
  
  
  
Beleg had left a short time before to speak with Elrond, and Paullina sat in her room content and confident that things would finally be turning her way. When a few hours had passed and she had had no word from Beleg Paullina began to grow nervous. Just when she thought she would leave the relative safety of her room to find him he walked in.  
  
She got to her feet and walked forward. "Beleg, how did it go?"  
  
He smiled and clapped Paullina on the back. "Well, very well. I have spoken with Elrond. It took some time, but I finally convinced him that the only explanation for your refusals was that you were in fact a woman. He is going to have a talk with Liriel. She may be with him right now."  
  
"Yes! You have no idea how happy this makes me." On an impulse she hugged Beleg again, though not a crushing one like before. "I'm quite hungry, shall we find dinner?"  
  
"Of course." They ended up eating with a small group of elves who had already started their meal. They chatted and ate pleasantly and leisurely for hours. The sun had set and it was growing dark. They had not seen nor heard anything of Liriel.  
  
"Beleg, I think I shall go for a walk."  
  
"May I join you?"  
  
"Why not?" Leaving their companions, Beleg and Paullina wandered through the gardens and then into the pathless woods. They did not speak, but walked in silence admiring the trees and stars and the moon that was rising in the sky.  
  
Paullina stopped suddenly and laid a hand on Beleg's arm. "What is it Paullina?"  
  
Looking around nervously she leaned towards Beleg and spoke in a whisper. "Something is wrong, I can feel it."  
  
"Why do you speak in whispers? What is wrong?"  
  
"Since I have been here I have never been happy for very long. I have a feeling that Elrond was unable to convince Liriel."  
  
"You are right Paul, Elrond did fail."  
  
Paullina almost jumped out of skin hearing Liriel's voice so close. Beleg and Paullina slowly turned around to see Liriel standing nearby. She looked pale and grim in the moonlight. Paullina felt a chill run up her spine and her stomach turned into knots. Her skin scrawled and had an overwhelming urge to run, but her feet felt like lead.  
  
"Paul?" Liriel's voice sounded like ice and Paullina felt impending doom.  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	21. I Think You Should Run

(A/N 45 reviews ^__^ Zurizip: Glad you're please with the new chaps. Talagand: Thank you for the complements. Liriel is spooky, isn't she? *grins*)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
I Think You Should Run  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes?" Paullina almost choked.  
  
Liriel walked forward several feet. "Paul, why must you continue this ridiculous lie?"  
  
Beleg stepped forward. "Because it is the truth."  
  
"Stay out of this Beleg." She glared at him then turned back to Paullina. "Answer me Paul, I grow tired of this game."  
  
'I'm starting to get pissed again' "Well, Liriel, I'm getting pretty tired of you too."  
  
"Ha! That I doubt. I know why you are playing this little game." Liriel looked smug.  
  
"Oh and why?" 'What an arrogant bitch'  
  
"You are pushing me away, making me wait so that I will come begging at your feet. Well, let me tell you this, that will never happen."  
  
Paullina looked at Beleg and both rolled their eyes simultaneously. Paullina remained mute; there was nothing to say.  
  
"Paul, end this game now!"  
  
Ignoring her, Paullina turned to Beleg. "Beleg, have you wondered why she thinks I like her?"  
  
Beleg grinned. "Yes, I have. She must be under some madness."  
  
"And you know for an elf she's pretty impatient."  
  
"Quite right Paullina."  
  
Liriel suddenly let out a frustrated shriek and leapt at Paul. Beleg, having quicker reflexes, jerked Paullina out of the way. "Paullina, I think you should run. I will try and distract her"  
  
"Right!" Paullina sprang forward back towards the house. She couldn't hear Liriel if she followed for she was an elf, all she could do was hope that Beleg would distract her for long enough to get a good head start. Glancing back she thought she saw a figure far behind her. 'Damn elves, too fast, she's going to catch up with me.'  
  
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^_^ 


	22. A Marriage Proposal

(A/N More OOC elves cause they are so funny that way. More reviews ^_^ repeat reviewers and new ones ^__^. Katie, are you the ElfWarriorGirl who appears in "Truth or Dare" by Elfie88? I like that fic. Please don't go insane Brilaglar.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
A Marriage Proposal  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina continued to run as fast as she could back towards the house, narrowly dodging trees as she went. Beleg and Paullina had wandered far during their walk and it seemed like an eternity before she came back to the gardens.  
  
"Paul!"  
  
Paullina jerked to a stop and swirled around. Liriel was only a short ways off running towards her. Getting back into motion Paullina started running again. She finally made it back to the house and she was running so fast she almost wasn't able to stop. Flinging a door open she ran down one corridor then the next. Opening a random door she ran through and slammed it behind her and held it shut.  
  
She could hear her heart beating wildly in her chest. She pressed her ear to the door desperately trying to hear something. She kept on waiting, ignoring the occupants of the room and the room itself, which was a small library. Just when she thought she was safe Liriel called out her name.  
  
"Paul!" Paullina jumped back from the door. It swung open and Liriel walked in and advanced on Paullina. Paullina inched backward farther and farther into the room. The look on Liriel's face was quite disturbing if not frightening. Not watching where she was going Paullina tripped over a low stool and fell backward, hitting her head on the floor.  
  
"Ow!" She closed her eyes and winced from the pain. Before she could get up or even open her eyes she felt two hard knees pressing into her elbows, pinning them to the floor. She look up to find Liriel kneeing over her chest.  
  
Paullina looked to the side, there were two female elves in the room. "Ah, a little help here." But they were too shocked to do anything. She then felt a hand grab hold of her jaw and turn her head.  
  
"Paul, you disappoint me." 'That's it!' Just when Paullina was about to flip over and knock her off, Liriel pulled out a long, thin blade and held it to her throat.  
  
"Ai!"  
  
Liriel laughed. "Now Paul, you will promise to marry me or I will cut your throat."  
  
"What the fuck…"  
  
"Wrong answer Paul." Paullina felt the tip of the blade touch her throat. 'Shit, I can't flip her off quick enough. Now is the time for my knight in shining armor.'  
  
"Help! Get this crazy bitch off of me!" This was a poor choice of words for the blade was pressed harder against her skin and Liriel gripped even harder on her jaw. Paullina, now mute, could only stare up at the crazed Liriel, who waited rather impatiently for the answer she wanted.  
  
A moment later Liriel let out a shriek as someone pulled her off of Paullina. Looking up she saw a squirming struggling, and thankfully, unarmed Liriel in the grip of Paullina's knight in shining armor, Beleg.  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	23. Hmmm, Elf Lips

(A/N More reviews, happy day. Mwhahaha I'm updating this afternoon instead of this evening. Thank you reviewers.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
Hmmm, Elf Lips  
  
  
  
  
  
Liriel was still squirming and yelling. Paullina smiled up at Beleg and got one in return. "Thank you Beleg."  
  
"You are welcome."  
  
Feeling very tired Paullina stayed on the floor. 'Things have to calm down now that she attacked me' She sighed and laid her head on the floor. Liriel had stopped screeching when several elves walking into the room because of the noise. Beleg handed her over to them and offered a hand to Paullina, which she accepted it and got to her feet.  
  
"Paul!" Paullina looked at Liriel standing there with her arms firmly pinned to her sides by two elves. 'Poor Liriel'  
  
"Liriel, do you ever shut up?"  
  
Liriel growled. "You! Why must you always refuse me?"  
  
For the second time that day she came up with a mischievous little idea. She stepped closer to Beleg and put an arm around the elf's shoulder. "Because we're in love." She smiled deeply and squeezed Beleg.  
  
He turned to her, confused. In a whisper, "We are?"  
  
"Shush, just play along."  
  
"That is ridiculous. You cannot be in love with Beleg, he is male."  
  
"Why not? I'm a woman."  
  
"NO you are NOT!"  
  
Paullina would have loved to burst out laughing seeing that expression on Liriel's face, but she had a game to play and needed a straight face. Paullina shrugged. "Believe that if you want I guess." And again she came up with a mischievous idea. Shocking all those present she grabbed hold of Beleg and proceeded to kiss him again.  
  
'Hmmm, elf lips'  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	24. How to Provoke Someone

(A/N And because of the threat of cruel and unusual punishment I bring you chapter 24.)  
  
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The Story With No Title  
  
How to Provoke Someone  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina eventually broke off the kiss and she had to keep a tight hold onto Beleg, as his legs didn't seem to want to support him. Finding his voice Beleg spoke. "If you did not look like a man I would have enjoyed that."  
  
Paullina smiled, but Liriel groaned loudly. Paullina patted Beleg's face and pinched his cheek. "That's okay, I understand Snookums."  
  
"Snookums?" Beleg got wide eyed.  
  
"SNOOKUMS!" Paullina glanced over to Liriel, who seemed madder than she ever had seen her. The rest of the elves in the room were dumb with shock. Paullina was still quite pissed with Liriel so she came up with yet another mischievous idea and acted on it.  
  
Paullina swooped Beleg up in her arms and looked up him. 'Poor Beleg, I hope I don't traumatize him too much' "Snookums, let's get married."  
  
Paullina wasn't quite sure what she expected, but it was more than satisfying. Liriel screamed outright and Beleg got that wide-eyed frightened Elijah Wood as Frodo look. Then Paullina strode out of the room with her elven burden.  
  
Walking down the hall she noticed that Beleg weighed quite a bit. 'I wonder why people think elves are light just cause they walk lightly. Well, this elf definitely could loose some weight.' After this thought she saw an open door up ahead and went through. It was a small sitting room, which was empty, thankfully. She set Beleg down and looked at him. He was still in shock, but he came out of it and spoke.  
  
"Paul…Paullina…what was that about?" 'Poor Beleg'  
  
"It's okay Beleg. I only did that to irritate Liriel. Did you see the look on her face? Ha! You should have seen the look on your face too." Paullina began to giggle and then laugh. Beleg stood by not quite sure of what to make of it all, but Paullina's laughter was infectious and he joined in.  
  
Very soon they were laughing loud and hard and they both fell to their knees. They continued laughing for several minutes, lying on the ground helpless with mirth. They were so oblivious to their surroundings that they did not notice the large entourage of elves preceded by Elrond that had just entered the room.  
  
----  
  
^_^  
  
(A/N Sorry you have no ideas for "Phone Convos" Brilaglar, it's okay.) 


	25. Go to Your Room!

(A/N I have received another threat from reviewer today. *Author is happy for some reason*)  
  
----  
  
The Story With No Title  
  
Go to Your Room!  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina and Beleg stopped laughing when they heard someone clear their throat. Paullina looked up to see Elrond towering over her flanked by many elves. 'Ooh boy' "Good evening Elrond."  
  
"Paul -"  
  
"Paullina, you mean."  
  
Elrond glared for moment. "Paullina get to your feet." She glanced over to see Beleg already on his feet so she followed suit. "I am disappointed in you -"  
  
"And I you. You weren't able to convince Liriel and you let her go and she attacked me."  
  
"That was no excuse to taunt her as you did. She is very upset." 'Eek! Elrond is not happy'  
  
"Well, excuse me." Paullina crossed her arms and tried to look smug, but she was quite frightened. Elrond was lord here and she needed to stay in his good graces.  
  
"No, you are not excused. It is regretful that she attacked you. If I could have prevented it I would have." He sighed. "I do not blame you entirely, Liriel will need to speak for actions, but your actions were wholly inappropriate and only made this situation worse." He looked at Paullina and she cringed and lowered her head. 'He sure knows how to make one feel like a jerk' "It is late for you. I suggest you go to your room and sleep. And stay in your room. We will deal with this on the morrow."  
  
"Fine, come on Snookums." She grabbed hold of Beleg and dragged him out of the room, the group of elves parting for them. Striding down the hall, dragging Beleg with her, she felt awful. 'Damn Liriel, damn elves, want to go home' She spotted her door up ahead and stopped and let go of Beleg.  
  
Paullina stared at the floor for a moment. "Things are not going well Beleg."  
  
"No they are not." They both stood silently in the empty hall for several minutes, thinking. "If you cannot get home then you and Liriel will continue to give each other grief."  
  
"Tell me about it." She sighed and shook her head. "Goodnight Beleg." She turned and walked to her room and went to sleep.  
  
----  
  
^_^ 


	26. The Chapter With No Title

(A/N I have finally returned and I am tired. I had a good time, but driving roughly 400 miles in a 48 hour period is a bit much don't you think?)  
  
----  
  
The Story With No Title  
  
The Chapter with no Title  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina's mind was troubled, but she managed to drift off to sleep. She slept lightly and was restless and tossed about in bed, ending up on her back. The night was not too far progressed when she awoke from a particularly disturbing dream. She tensed and slowly opened her eyes. 'Maybe I did go a bit too far'  
  
In the dim light that made its way in from her open door she could just make out the figure looming over her. Liriel was yet again kneeling over her chest, but her motives were quite different this time for she held a dagger high in the air as if to strike. 'Shit!' This was the only thought Paullina came up with before Liriel sent the blade plunging downward with unbelievable speed towards Paullina's chest.  
  
Reacting quicker than she thought she was capable of Paullina rolled to the side, the blade plunging harmlessly into the mattress. She continued to roll off the bed taking her attacker with her. Paullina landed on her back quite heavily on top Liriel, whose breath was knocked from her in a loud whoosh. Paullina jumped to her feet, tense and pumping with adrenaline. She looked down at Liriel lying on the floor, trying to get oxygen into her lungs. Paullina waited, not sure of what to do. Liriel's breathing eventually became more normal and she tried to get to her feet. Wasting no time Paullina came up with an idea. She bent down and pulled Liriel to her feet then flung her over her shoulder. Liriel screeched and squirmed, but Paullina's massive frame seemed to be just the right kind for this task.  
  
Paying no heed to Liriel's protests she walked through her door and down the hall. She ignored the pain from the blows Liriel was landing on her back and stomach as she made her way to the room where she hoped to find Elrond, the room she had spent two too many unpleasant conversations in.  
  
She walked with large purposeful strides and to her great luck that though the moon had set and no stars shone to entice the elves outside the halls were empty and she was able to make her way in peace. 'A peak of inactivity, what luck' Despite her anger a small smile flitted across her face.  
  
Finally finding the room she was looking for she flung the door open and stepped in. There was a dwindling fire in the fireplace and many candles were lit, flickering and creating odd shadows. Elrond was in a chair by the fire reading a book. He looked up at Paullina's entrance and jumped to his feet.  
  
"Paullina, what is the meaning of this? Put her down."  
  
"I'd be happy to." She stepped up and unceremoniously dropped Liriel at Elrond's feet. Liriel pushed herself up and looked up at Elrond and Paullina. With her eyes fixed on Elrond Paullina managed to speak. "This…she tried to kill me. If I had not woken up when I did I would be dead now. Lock up this crazy bitch or I'll…" She couldn't find the appropriate words and turned and stalked out of the room, closing the door loudly behind her.  
  
Walking towards no particular destination Paullina stopped next to a wide set of windows and looked out. She could barely see anything; the sky was filled with dark clouds. 'Matches my mood. When I was happy the moon was high and the sky cloudless and now…' She stood for a while, thinking, when there was a bright flash of light and for a split second she could see outside almost as if it were day. 'One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand' Then there was a loud clap of thunder that rumbled for several seconds.  
  
'That was close, a little less than a mile' She stood silently when suddenly some kind hearted being turned on the light bulb over Paullina's head. 'Lightening equals electricity equals home' She ran down the hall and stopped only half sure of what she was planning on doing. She was only wearing her nightclothes and was barefoot, but she shook this off, as it didn't seem to really matter. She ran down one hall then the next and burst out into the open.  
  
The air was crisp and a slight breeze stirred the air. She could not see well, but enough to make out the path that lead to higher ground. She scrambled up the path with only the occasionally flash of lightening to show her the way. She mumbled under her breath when she remembered that this path only led to the bathhouse. Leaving the path she continued to climb higher unaware of the dark figure following.  
  
----  
  
^_^  
  
(A/N We all knew Liriel was a psychopath, didn't we? ^_~ Mwahahahahhaha) 


	27. C'mon, Hit Me!

(A/N Sorry it took so long for me to update, but the part of my brain that allows what little creative writing ability I have went on hiatus. In fact it still might be. I've rushed this a bit because I'm going away for the weekend, again, but only 78 miles this time and I'll be driving alone mwahahahahaha. Anyways…here it is. Oh and as a warning, yet again the style is different in this chap, sorry.)  
  
----  
  
The Story With No Title  
  
C'mon, hit me!  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina ventured further and higher into the forest. She finally hit level ground and stumbled forward blindly in search of a field. She wandered quite far until she found it. The field was quite large and swelled upwards in the middle. She ran forward until she was standing at the highest point and looked up at the sky. It was pitch black, but on the horizon she could see lightening flicker across the sky. She waited patiently for several minutes then there was a flash and she counted the seconds until the rumble of thunder; it was over a mile away.  
  
"Grrrrr…" This continued on for quite a while, the lightening and thunder, Paullina counting and growling.  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"That was two miles away!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Grrr…a mile. C'mon, hit me!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"You…"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"That's better, three quarters of a mile."  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
Teeth grating. "You're getting worse."  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Gah! Fine then I don't care!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Ahhhhhhh, now you're getting even further away. I care I care."  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Eek! Half a mile."  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Grrr…a mile and a half."  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Or maybe you can…"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Hit me you freak!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Come hit me, I dare you!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"Coward!"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"…"  
  
Waiting. *Flash…rumble*  
  
"I give up…"  
  
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
----  
  
Beleg stood at the edge of the field patiently watching Paullina become consumed by her madness. Often he would step forward to go to her and take her back to the house, but something always held him back. He could dimly make out her figure on the top of the hill between the flashes of lightening. This went on for an hour when there was a blinding flash or lightening and ear bursting clap of thunder.  
  
He instinctively ducked down. A few moments pass and he slowly stood upright.  
  
"Paullina…" Beleg dashed forward and into the field. His steps slowed down as he approached the place where he was afraid he would find Paullina's body. Stepping forward cautiously he can see that no one is there, either dead or alive. There is a flash of lightening and Beleg sees clearly that there is no Paullina and oddly enough the ground is not marred or scorched at all. Thunder rolls ominously in the distance.  
  
"What the…"  
  
----  
  
(A/N Whew, I finally wrote it. I procrastinated long enough. Hope it wasn't a disappointment to anyone. Did you like it? Note: this is not the last chapter. And thanks to all my reviewers.) 


	28. An End

The Story With No Title  
  
An End  
  
  
  
  
  
Paullina ached all over. She lay on her side with her eyes tightly shut. 'I guess this is what I get for trying to get hit by lightening and succeeding.' She slowly pried her eyes open and was greeted with the rather unpleasant site of the nauseating orange rug of the computer room.  
  
"Ugh!" She slowly sat up, her head spun and she fell back down. 'Wait a minute' She looked at her hands, and yes, they were her own. "YES! I'm me again." She scrambled to her feet and immediately regretted it. Her head spun widely, but she managed to fall into her chair.  
  
Keeping her eyes closed and breathing slowly the dizziness eventually went away. Opening her eyes she looked at her computer. "Strange it's still on and working." To the one side of the monitor was her glass of water, but empty and surprisingly it was upright. Moving the mouse she stopped the screensaver and looked at her computer. She clicked on the clock to look at the date. "What?" The date was the same as the night she stayed up so late reading fan fiction, June 21st. In fact so was the time, almost, it was an hour later. "Huh? It's three in the morning. I'm confused." She pulled open the curtains only to be greeted with a dark, shadowy view of her back yard.  
  
Getting to her feet she walked out into the hall and made her way to her parent's room. She slowly opened the door and stepped in.  
  
"Mom…Mom…Mom?"  
  
The light from the hall cut across the room in a wide beam. The lump under the covers of the near side of the bed shifted and she heard a muffled voice. "What is it Paullina? It's…" a hand reached out and grabbed the clock on the nightstand, "three in the morning."  
  
"What's the date?"  
  
"You woke me up to ask the date? Go to sleep! Your father and I do have to drive to Maine in a few hours."  
  
"But Mom, I need to know the date and did you hear any noises?" Paullina felt a little stupid, but she wanted to be reassured she wasn't completely nuts.  
  
Paullina's mother sat up and stared angrily at her daughter. "Paullina it's the 21st because your Father and I are leaving today and the only noise I heard was you when you woke me up. Now go to your room." She promptly buried herself under the covers turned away from the disturber of her rest. The said disturber slowly backed up and closed the door and went back and shut down the computer. Paullina walked to her room and went to bed and pushing away all the confusing thoughts she drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  
An End or is it…  
  
  
  
----  
  
(Mwahahaha, I've been talking with my muse and the sequel to this is in the works and the first chapter should be up some time soon. It will be titled, of course, "The Sequel With No Title". But I would like reassurance that you want more and specifically you want my dear friend Beleg to get zapped over to Paullina's world. If you want a sequel please express so in a review. Sorry this chapter was…well I don't know what. Not a very good one, but I didn't want the story to continue forever, a sequel will be more than adequate for what I want.)  
  
(P.S. I'm going to write the sequel anyway. I won't be evil and wait for reviews.) 


	29. Cap

Made a little mistake. I shouldn't have slapped on a big "THE END" at the end of the last chapter. It's an end, but not "the end"; the story is going to be continued. Got a chapter written, just needs polishing, proofreading and approval from my muse.  
  
Anyways, I've gone back and fixed the little "end" problem in the last chapter. And my thanks again to all my reviewers you will all receive thanks again in the Disclaimer of the next fic; which I hope to get up very soon.  
  
Thanks all ^_^  
  
P.S. And thanks to my readers who do not review. There must be some of you out there and I hope you're enjoying my story as much as my rabid reviews have. 


End file.
